How to Look More Fit Than You Are

As a personal trainer, I spend a lot of time telling people how to get fit which, at its simplest, involves exercise. But what if you just want to look like you’re in shape?

I know what you’re thinking…that is so much better than actually exercising, right? I’m not saying you shouldn’t workout because you know you should.

But if you’re not, here’s how to look like you are.

10 Ways to Look More Fit Than You Actually Are

  1. When you’re taking a walk and you see someone in the distance, speed up. Do that crazy speedwalk posture where you swing your arms wildly. As you pass the person, say brightly, “On mile 6! Isn’t it a gorgeous day?!” After you’ve passed them, slow back down to your snail’s pace.
  2. Get up in the morning and put on your workout clothes. When your spouse/loved one/whoever comes in, start a vigorous stretching routine. Say, “Just getting ready for my usual 10-miler!” Ignore their incredulous look and, after they leave, sit down and play some Candy Crush.
  3. At dinner with friends, say “I did my 10 miles this morning…you can’t believe how awesome it was! I think I deserve some pizza. With vegetables on it, of course. Oh, heck…I’ll just go for the meat lover’s.”
  4. Walk around in your workout clothes all day. Wait, nevermind. Everyone already does that one.
  5. Go to the gym and change into workout clothes. Make a circuit of the gym, stopping at various machines to read the directions. Go back to the locker room and put on your bathing suit. Spend the next 15 minutes soaking in the hot tub, telling everyone, “Wow, that workout kicked my ass! I won’t even be able to walk tomorrow.”
  6. At lunch with coworkers,¬†look at each person’s meal and estimate how many calories they’re eating in a condescending tone. Then launch into a rambling discussion of post-workout supplements and protein shakes.
  7. Go outside in the morning in your workout clothes. When your neighbor comes out, start stretching and jogging in place. “Can’t wait to get started on my workout!” When he waves and gives you dirty look, jog around the corner, go in the back door and play some Candy Crush.
  8. Fill your opaque water bottle with wine and go for a walk. When you pass people toast them with your bottle and say, “Cheers! Hope you’re staying hydrated!”
  9. Look up some obscure fact about exercise and walk around telling everyone about it. For example, “Did you know that people who exercise for just 15 minutes per day have a 14% lower mortality risk than those who don’t exercise?”
  10. Order a vodka and tonic at dinner and pretend it’s water. Look down your nose at your friends. Say, “I never drink during the week! It totally ruins my workouts.”

Got any other ideas? Leave a comment!

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